Jim’s Best Lines in Season 7

So four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny. Which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.

"My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with."

Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. No. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch in to a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has a slot about the size of a finger. We were all given new business cards big enough to set us apart from the competition, which is how I learned that our titles are all now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30, and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.

Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I was just gonna put a couple keys on it every day until Christmas. Then his pants would have fallen down, which was a little gift to me, but...

Are you sure you once knew how to do this?

Well, by worst, you mean the best.

Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?

Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.

To be honest, I still can't believe he didn't call her back. Who doesn't call a dork like that back?

I think that was sconesy cider, noted baptism reception critic.

Uh, everyone? Everyone, can I just have your attention? Has anyone seen a small- Stop that tiny blonde woman! She stole my baby!

Some events are so news worthy, so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral. Things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all.

That's-- the password. We're in.

I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

Ahh, Thank you hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.

Well on the plus side all this worrying about China has made you smarter than Oscar, Michael.

Woah, there is a lot of brainpower in this room. We've got Michael and Oscar, the two smartest guys in the office, also in that order.

Around here, Oscar is known as 'actually' because he will insert himself into just about any conversation to add facts, or correct grammar. He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.

He's trying to set you up Michael. What's going to happen is he's going to try and bring up what ever you're talking about in a very casual way, but secretly he'll be trying to trip you up, and when he does, boom, its awful. Haven't you noticed that I don't bring up the Tour de France around him?

Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right?

I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress a receptionist who will remain nameless.

Okay now really think hard about this one: One year.

Four hundred and ninety-four months?

Four hundred and ninety-FIVE months. That's just...

I'm sorry, that just wasn't interesting to me.